Have a Nora Ephron Halloween

Have a Nora Ephron Halloween | Hannah & Husband

There was this unexpected thing that happened when Husband and I watched our first Nora Ephron movie together. He ruined it. Ok, ruin is a harsh word. It didn’t happen right away. At first, it was just an annoyance as I started to notice the things he pointed out. Like when we were watching While You Were Sleeping (not a Nora Ephron movie), and he said, “You know what the best part about this movie is? No one is cheating on Bill Pullman.” *sigh*

Have a Nora Ephron Halloween | Hannah & Husband

Then one day, I was watching Sleepless in Seattle thinking, “Annie Reed is a crazy person. She’s a stalker! Who hires a PI to stalk someone they don’t know?! If this happened in real life, Annie Reed would be committed.”

Have a Nora Ephron Halloween | Hannah & Husband

Maybe it’s just time to say it: Nora Ephron gave us all some very unrealistic expectations about how the world works. Apartments in New York City (that you can afford without a trust fund) are about the size of Kathleen Kelly’s bedroom. No grocery store in Manhattan ever has enough room to practically dance around with a grocery cart the week before Thanksgiving. And, let’s face it, Joe Fox was catphishing by the end of You’ve Got Mail. Beyonce-era women would have a serious come-to-Jesus with their friend Kathleen about boundaries and honesty.

Have a Nora Ephron Halloween | Hannah & Husband

Which leads me to the question of Why? Why am I still so in love with Nora Ephron movies when I can’t unsee the noxious themes? I blame The Nora Trifecta.

The Nora Trifecta

1. Setting
2. Soundtrack
3. Characters with enough cuteness to cover the insanity

Have a Nora Ephron Halloween | Hannah & Husband

Nora Ephron gave every girl who grew up in a small town unrealistic expectations about New York City. But, here’s the thing, walking through Central Park on the right day in late October, Central Park is exactly the way I imagined it would be when I was daydreaming about it in seventh grade. The giant trees are the colors of candy-corn and pair perfectly with giant, expensive drinks from Starbucks. If you listen hard enough, you will absolutely hear Harry Connick Jr. singing in the background and get that determined Kathleen Kelly skip in your step. (Of course, most of that illustration is from When Harry Met Sally, so maybe Ephron totally nailed it with Sally Albright.)

Anyway, today I’d like to propose something. I propose we all dress up as our favorite lunatics for Halloween: Nora Ephron heroines. Put on a jumper, paired with a storybook lady hat, and carry that bouquet of sharpened pencils with pride, honey!

Have a Nora Ephron Halloween | Hannah & Husband

Go in search of your very own Tom Hanks… or just start responding very intimately to all those emails that go to your spam folder. Someday your prince will come. Or you’ll find him via the perfect hashtag, track down a PI, in his area, and see if you can make contact with his child who will then show up at a location of your choice. Happy hunting!

 

Joking aside, I do love Ephron’s writing. Check out this post for a little about reading Nora Ephron with a book club…

Start a Book Club

 

Halloween Candy: Bourbon Apple Bundles with Caramel Sauce

Disclaimer: These may be a little messy for trick-or-treating, but they are the perfect thing to calm you down if you are trying to spend a leisurely evening at home and those sugar-hopped kids won’t stop banging on your door asking for handouts.

On Saturday night, we threw a dinner party, which had several fabulous outcomes. First, we invited some of our very favorite people so we had a great time drinking, eating, and eventually playing music, which seems to be how most of our dinner parties come to a close… at 2am.

Second, I made up this dessert that may or may not be my new favorite thing. Oh, and I topped them with my first *ever* batch of caramel… I’m pretty positive I can make magic now just in case you were wondering.

Bourbon Apple Bundles with Caramel  Sauce

Ingredients:
2 green apples
1 box Pepperidge Farm puff pastry sheets
1/3 C light brown sugar
1/4 C all-purpose flour
1/4 C bourbon of choice (When cooking, I always use Jack Daniels.)
1 tsp cinnamon
*chopped nuts to top if you like

– – – – – – – – – –

1.) Preheat your oven to 400° and thaw your pastry.

2.) Peel 2 apples. Thinly slice them and then cut them into 1/2 inch pieces.

3.) Mix together brown sugar, flour, bourbon, & cinnamon with your apples.

4.) Cut your puff pastry sheets into 9 square pieces.

5.) Use a small spoon to put a bit of the apple mixture in the middle of each square.

6.) Stretch the pastry a bit and bring together opposite corners. You want the apples sealed into the pastry as much as possible.

7.) Lay out bundles on a baking sheet or baking stone that has been covered in parchment and sprayed with Pam.

8.) Bake until the puff pastry is a golden brown.

9.) Drizzle with Ree Drummond’s (aka The Pioneer Woman) caramel sauce. *

10.) Top with chopped nuts if you choose, but remember who you’re serving. There are so many allergies now!

*A small note on the caramel, after everything was mixed & melted I brought the caramel to a boil and continued whisking. This helped thicken the sauce. I only boiled it until it started to thicken and then I cut it off.

Also, to make drizzling a lot easier, I put the sauce in a little creamer pitcher. It looked adorable, worked perfectly, and then was easy to store. When I used the caramel sauce again yesterday, I just heated the pitcher in the microwave which was just long enough to soften the caramel but not long enough to make the pitcher hot.

 

Last Minute Costume for the Go-Getter

Today I heard Halloween referred to as “anti-feminist Christmas” by the wife of one of my favorite composers, John Mackey. (As a side note: Follow him on Twitter… he eats at fabulous places.) Needless to say, this made my mission to find the best Halloween costume for the woman-with-a-brain even more significant. So tonight, I’m sharing the “Look” of one of my personal heroes: Martha. That’s right–THAT Martha.

What better antidote to the run-of-the-mill sexy Uncle Sam costume than an entrepreneurial innovator that has changed the way Americans cook, clean, and craft.

Keys to THE MARTHA…

Lesson 1: If you’re gonna go, go all out. No one builds a billion dollar empire by throwing a costume together at the last… well, you get the point.

Lessons 2 & 3: Pay attention to details, and go through the pleated short phase early in your career.

Lesson 4: Once you’ve gotten over your mom-jean phase, start working out like a boss. Your physique is not something to take lightly. A few years ago, she was pole dancing on national television before most housewives knew pole dancing at the gym was “a thing.” Now I’m willing to bet sister is doing hot yoga in between tapings for Martha’s Cooking School.

Lesson 5: Two words: Power Sexy. God didn’t just give you those abs, honey! You earned them. So why not work it? Climb up on that ladder in your red stilettos and let those firemen look at you adoringly for the rest of the day. It’s not about being sexy, it’s about knowing that at the end of the day, you’re the one that signs the checks. You are in control, you own the company, and your name is on the bottom of those gorgeous enameled, cast-iron casseroles. (*Seriously, my enameled, cast-iron–an older version of this–probably gets used 4 nights a week. Love. It.)

Lesson 6: Finally, master the art of the hair flip + pursed lips. It lets people know that while you will do them the honor of answering their offensive or insignificant question, you are still in complete control of the situation, and they should watch themselves. Ladies like you have earned the right to be discriminating with your time.

What’s the verdict? Is it a good thing?

 

Halloween Candy: Little Ghosts

Looking for another alternative to those expensive bags of store-bought candy? This one is simple and yummy! I first saw these little guys on pinterest, and I just had to try them. I used the large pretzel sticks, one and a quarter cup white chocolate chips and 2 teaspoons shortening. I slowly (slow is key) melted the chocolate, adding the shortening a little bit at a time. (The shortening is what thins the chocolate enough to dip the pretzels smoothly.) After letting the chocolate cool and set, it’s time to add the faces. I used black icing but on pinterest I saw that you could use mini chocolate chips if you’d like.

I also found it super fun to package these little guys. For a party, I used a little mason jar, fruit netting and twine. Then, for a couple of friends, craft paper and orange yarn.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Although, I should probably warn you there is one serious side effect of this craft. I will be singing this song all weekend…

I miss the White Stripes. [ sadface ]

Still Looking for a Costume?

At my house, we didn’t celebrate Halloween. That house that handed out Jesus flyers with your Tootsie Rolls? That was us. So pardon me if I don’t really see the point in dressing up as a sexy nurse or a sexy pirate or a sexy Big Bird. Big Bird? That’s right: Big Bird. However, in thinking of what I, as a well-educated, well-read adult female in a mutually beneficial relationship, would consider dressing up as for a night filled with tricks, candy, and six year-olds dressed up as prostitutes it finally came to me…

That’s right, this powerful symbol of early-90’s womanhood may just be the perfect costume for you. And what better woman to emulate? Taking charge of her life after rehab (or as Lisa taught us to call it: The New Boarding School), she is a woman with fabulous style and a great career, not to mention numerous intelligent men surrounding her. In 1992, chose to keep an illegitimate pregnancy and become a single mother prompting criticism from the then vice president. And in 1997 she battled breast cancer, sparking another controversy when she chose to smoke medical marijuana and talk about the sizes of fake breasts. What powerful She-model shouldn’t garner a little criticism in the public arena now and then? Murphy Brown was pivotal in leading women in the direction of independence, and if you want to do the same, this is your look. Lucky for you, there are only a few simple steps to find Murphy’s signature style.

Lesson 1: There is no such thing as too much teasing. Here in the South we say, “The closer to Jesus, the better we like it,” and obviously Murphy took that heart.

Lesson 2: Button that collar all the way up. Unless you’re celebrating ‘Ladies’ Night with your girlfriends, there’s no reason to show so all that decolletage.

Lesson 3: Of course, if you were up late watching reruns of Miami Vice, you could always pop that baby.

Lesson 4: Garish sweaters will ensure that you never go unnoticed at the office. Better yet? The incomparable sweater vest. I’d suggest doing as Murphy’s done in the picture above and accenting the most random color in the palette and using it in your accessories (Read: Big Earrings).

And finally, when you’re all worn out after a long day of being the most powerful woman in the room, pop your Keds up on that marble-topped table and turn on that ghetto blaster. After all, you deserve it!

You can now be assured that in Thursday’s 9am meeting no one will be picturing you as a sexy nurse. You can thank me later!

Halloween Candy: Cookies

Who said you don’t get presents at Halloween? Here you go, my gift to you…

These cookies are going to make you friends.

There, I said it.

I hate to go all Dale Carnegie on you first thing on a Saturday morning, but if you really want to ‘win friends and influence people,’ you’d better learn to bake. And if you can bake cookies like these, you may never be lonely again.

…Unless, of course, you choose to bake them and then eat them alone watching Addams Family reruns, which I happen to think would be quite festive of you. Que sera…

The recipe can be found on Joy Cho’s blog by clicking here. 

Now here’s what I do…

I bake the cookies following the recipe on Joy’s blog and then separate them into 2 groups.

On one group goes melted white chocolate.

On the other group goes a mixture of peanut butter with just a little powdered sugar to give it more body.

Finally, I put a marshmallow on the ones with white chocolate and stick them in a warm oven to soften up.

Squish the little sandwiches together and there you have it! I believe Joy said she’d also tried salted caramel with it, which I have not. However, I can assure you, no matter how you make them, they’re sure to be a hit!

Wait for It…

I should probably start this post with a 2 statements:

1.) When I was little, we did not celebrate Halloween. (Although, we did eat the orange oreos.) Nor did we watch the Addams Family. (But I did get The Munsters for some reason.)

2.) Over the past month of watching Addams Family episodes on YouTube, I have become increasingly convinced that Wednesday and I would have been very good friends. She played autopsy; I enjoyed playing funeral.*

All that to say: There are 5 days until Halloween, and while I still don’t actually celebrate the holiday in real life, I think the idea of the holiday is super fun. Therefore, there will be candy and costume ideas everyday on the blog leading up to the 31st. Hope you enjoy!

*Just in case you’re wondering, Skipper was usually the one that got the X. Pretend funerals are much more fun when there is a certain element of mystery involved. Plus, she always looked like she had it coming anyway–just a little too much attitude if you ask me… These funerals were usually followed by a round of Clue.

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