Today I heard Halloween referred to as “anti-feminist Christmas” by the wife of one of my favorite composers, John Mackey. (As a side note: Follow him on Twitter… he eats at fabulous places.) Needless to say, this made my mission to find the best Halloween costume for the woman-with-a-brain even more significant. So tonight, I’m sharing the “Look” of one of my personal heroes: Martha. That’s right–THAT Martha.
What better antidote to the run-of-the-mill sexy Uncle Sam costume than an entrepreneurial innovator that has changed the way Americans cook, clean, and craft.
Keys to THE MARTHA…
Lesson 1: If you’re gonna go, go all out. No one builds a billion dollar empire by throwing a costume together at the last… well, you get the point.
Lessons 2 & 3: Pay attention to details, and go through the pleated short phase early in your career.
Lesson 4: Once you’ve gotten over your mom-jean phase, start working out like a boss. Your physique is not something to take lightly. A few years ago, she was pole dancing on national television before most housewives knew pole dancing at the gym was “a thing.” Now I’m willing to bet sister is doing hot yoga in between tapings for Martha’s Cooking School.
Lesson 5: Two words: Power Sexy. God didn’t just give you those abs, honey! You earned them. So why not work it? Climb up on that ladder in your red stilettos and let those firemen look at you adoringly for the rest of the day. It’s not about being sexy, it’s about knowing that at the end of the day, you’re the one that signs the checks. You are in control, you own the company, and your name is on the bottom of those gorgeous enameled, cast-iron casseroles. (*Seriously, my enameled, cast-iron–an older version of this–probably gets used 4 nights a week. Love. It.)
Lesson 6: Finally, master the art of the hair flip + pursed lips. It lets people know that while you will do them the honor of answering their offensive or insignificant question, you are still in complete control of the situation, and they should watch themselves. Ladies like you have earned the right to be discriminating with your time.
What’s the verdict? Is it a good thing?