Start a Book Club

Book Club #secretsofabelle

When I was little, my Woo-Woo used to talk about all the clubs she’d host at her house. With 7 kids and a job, I never could figure out why she would spend afternoons and evenings hosting so many random social gatherings. Then, as I got older I realized how hard it is to make new friends after a certain age. Did you read that article in the New York Times last year? It’s not just me, I swear! This is a real problem that seemingly normal people have too.

So earlier this year, I decided to start a book club. You see, I’m the type of person that knows a lot of people but isn’t necessarily prone to invest in too many relationships. For me, it’s all about trust. It’s hard for me to let people into my little box. Do you do that?

I have a constant feeling of competition–not with other people but with myself. What if people realize I’m a lot crazier than they originally thought? What if they see how scattered my brain really is and what a warped sense of humor I have? (I blame my parents for that one.) It’s not that I believe people could possibly see me as perfect, but more that I want to give them the illusion of *pretty together* for as long as possible. We could get into the psychology but suffice it to say that for the past year I’ve been challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone. Enter the book club.

It was the perfect excuse to mix something I love–something I’m really comfortable doing: reading–with getting to know people better. Interested in trying it yourself? Here’s a little help.

Book Club selections #secretsofabelle

Find books that will spark discussion.

We’ve had an interesting time with this so far. Nora Ephron’s “I Remember Nothing” was by far the biggest success. Although, our next book is “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain, and I’m really excited about it. Light fiction seems to be too subjective and a longer history book may get too cumbersome if you have a larger group. We read Deborah Mitford’s “Wait for Me!” and while I enjoyed it, it turned out to be quite arduous for a book club.

However, I will say that it’s important to read things that aren’t necessarily in your comfort zone. Quiet has made me really uncomfortable at times (because I’m more of an extrovert), but I think that will only make for more interesting discussion.

Name Tags for your guests. #secretsofabelle

Make a guest list and set out the name tags.

Invite a mix of old friends and people you’d like to know better. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little terrifying. The first thing I did was mention it on Facebook just to see who else was interested. Then, I talked to a few people and planned an evening. Asking everyone to wear name tags insures that no one will be uncomfortable approaching that girl that they may have seen in passing but never really met.

Book Club #secretsofabelle

Have a party!

Ask your guests to bring food & drink. I’m not gonna lie, our food usually ends up themed and the wine has a tendency to flow. If you’re worried about the discussion moving, most publishers have book group discussion questions available on their websites. (For example: Here are the discussion questions for Nora Ephron’s book on Random House’s website.)

Book Club #secretsofabelle

I guess the main thing I’m trying to say is this: Try something new! Make some new friends! You don’t have to start a book club. We’ve joked several times about just getting together to watch movies. But I promise, you won’t regret it.

P.S. The gorgeous pics in this post were taken by Rebecca Ann Peters Photography!

Sabbath in the South

Here in the South, Sunday is still a sacred day. Oh, I’m sure it’s like that everywhere, but there’s just something about this time of year when we’re finally getting a respite from the unnerving heat that clears my head and reminds me to “remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.”

Regardless of whether or not one has a religious affiliation, there’s a slower rhythm around here on Sundays. People spend time with their family. They cook large feasts instead of picking up fast food. They play in the park. They sit on the porch. They read the paper cover to cover.

There’s a reset button that’s hit and slows down the brain just enough to remind us of the things that are really important instead of the nine million things still on that To Do list. One of my friends always likes to remind people of “Clean Sheet” Sunday. Take off the old, and put on the new. It’s a fresh start–the past is past and the future looks bright!

Happy Sunday!

Style File: Beach Party

Fun Fact to start your week: When I was in middle school, I had a slight obsession with the Beach Party movies. I’m pretty sure it was egged on by a trip to Walt Disney World’s Polynesian Resort that later led to an all out bedroom makeover. However, in my sheltered childhood, there are two things I was too naive to realize when I was 13:

They’re smoking pot the whole time.
It’s really all about sex.

So now when I watch it every summer, I still swoon over the big hair and fabulous clothes–I’m just a little more disturbed by whatever those crazy kids were doing in the early 60s. That, however, will not stop me from doing a little Style File.

Style File: Beach Party #secretsofabelle

First of all, sing-alongs in the car are the best! What better foreplay than singing about a beach vacation with the one you love? And is there a woman alive who wouldn’t pay embarrassing amounts of money to know just how Annette Funicello got her hair to stay so big in the balmy beach climate? Annette Funicello should have been Southern because sister loves her bouffant. Also, and I won’t dwell on this, who else can own head to toe yellow?

Style File: Beach Party #secretsofabelle

Annette shows off some seriously ‘good girl wanting to go bad’ beachwear in these movies. In fact, I have this theory that her chest was so provocative in the first movie (see above), that they literally tied it down in the sequel (see below.)

Aside from the fashion, there were some real life lessons in this movie. The 2 most notable being:

1. Stand by your man… unless he tries to get you into bed before you’re ready. In that case, find an older man to make him jealous that doesn’t pose a threat but gives your new-found sexuality a confidence boost.

2. It is important to know at least one good defense move like “the finger.” Also, if all bad guys were Eric von Zipper’s gang, watching the evening news would be exponentially more awesome.

Also noteworthy, in the picture below is Deadhead. I’m pretty sure he was one of the first pioneers for preppy beachwear. Tell me those short shorts don’t look like a Michael Bastian collection just waiting to happen!

Beach Party is on Netflix Instant. You can thank me later.

My mother was right…

Happy Weekending!

Proust is a bit heavy. Might I suggest Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire? To be fair, Marcel Proust did not write the questionnaire rather answered it particularly well in 1890 when it was a popular parlor game. Today, it’s used as a model by James Lipton and Vanity Fair to profile particularly interesting personalities. You can google many of them (here’s a link to the ones on Vanity Fair), and it’s particularly fab weekend reading. On that note, I wish you a very happy weekend!

(P.S. the lingerie is Stella McCartney–my favorite!)

Domestic Wannabe: Laundry Essentials

Someone asked me recently if I could share some ways to make everyday chores like doing the laundry a bit more glamorous. The real answer would be to make yourself a martini and hire a maid. However, a more practical economic answer is this Domestic Wannabe series. So here goes…

Domestic Wannabe: Laundry Essentials

Our laundry basics are probably the same as everyone else: I’m a big fan of Tide & Bounce. Now here are a few tricks…

Something get extra dirty? Are there stains? Maybe you left something in the washer, and it got a little mildewy? Throw in some Clorox 2.
Take a night every 2 weeks to hand wash the big stuff: sweaters, blouses, etc.
Washing delicates in the washer? Get yourself a delicates bag.
Drying racks are your friend. Dryers are not.

Domestic Wannabe: Laundry Essentials

Now, and this is very important, I have a stain lifter that will change your life: Goop. I found it when I was in art school. It’s perfect for getting ink stains off your fingers and out of your favorite clothes. When it’s a little stain, we use Oxi Clean. When it’s worse, pull out the big guns.
Finally, do a load each day to stay on top of things. Put a load in the washer, pick up a good book, and make yourself a root beer float–you deserve it!

Domestic Wannabe: 5 Essential Cleaning Products

phyllis-diller-spring-cleaning

How are you at keeping house? When I was little, watching episodes of Martha Stewart and reading every lifestyle magazine I could get my hands on, I dreamed of what a fabulous housekeeper I’d be. But 6 years into home-ownership, I’ve realized that scrubbing floors and doing the laundry is not nearly as glamorous as I’d thought it would be. Then, last week I was talking with a friend about the guilt that can come along with cleaning (or not cleaning) the house. We both work for one of the top lifestyle brands in the country, and yet our reality is that we don’t scrub our baseboards monthly or even always pick up after ourselves.

So, after getting a few questions on the subject, I thought it was time to get super real on the blog. We’re going to talk about cleaning house–top to bottom. Tips, tricks, and ways to deal with the inevitable guilt that comes from not spending your Saturday scrubbing that bathroom floor by hand like Martha would. For this first post, I thought I’d share the 5 things that are always in my cleaning closet.

top-5-cleaning-essentials

Swiffer Sweeper

I feel like Dexter and I shed the equivalent of a small kitten every day so the Swiffer is essentail in our house. It’s not a hassle to deal with like the vacuum so you can do it every day or two and save vacuuming for the weekends. I also use the cloths for dusting the rest of the house.

Castille Soap

This stuff is simply amazing. Add a bit to water and scrub down anything. It’s powerful enough to remove the greasy film that builds up on that wall above the stove, but it’s gentle enough to mop wood floors and bath the dog. I also used it as a face wash for a while. Husband claims I like the peppermint scent because it makes the house smell like Christmas, which I’m sure, on some level, is true.

Cloth Towels & Rags

I went through a phase where I was using paper towels for everything. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Bounty on a weird, I-ONLY-buy-Bounty sort of level, but using paper towels for everything gets expensive and wasteful. So I stocked up on cloth rags and towels and try to use those as much as possible. Just remember to have enough on hand so you can change them out every day or two so germs don’t live in them.

Method Cleaning Products

We’ve been a Method household since college when we attended a lecture by Karim Rashid and learned about Method’s great design & environmental practices. My latest love has been for their furniture polish–it works wonders on our antiques and smells divine!

Bleach

While I’m not a huge fan of using harsh chemicals, I do understand that sometimes you need a stronger cleaner. I use it disinfect after someone’s been sick or when we buy something old for the kitchen that makes me a little nervous (think things with small enclosures).

Afternoons Filled with Books

On many afternoons this summer, I have been found on our front porch reading. As I wrote before, I’m trying to focus more–turning off the distractions and just concentrating on the words of the author. One of my favorites of late? Storyteller: The Authorized Biography of Roald Dahl written by Donald Sturrock.

When I was little I didn’t read much Roald Dahl. My mother didn’t want the attitudes of the characters to rub off on her 7 year old bibliophile that already had an attitude problem. But last year I started reading a Dahl book every few months: First, Matilda. Fantastic Mr. Fox. The Giraffe the Pelly and Me.

“From then on, Matilda would visit the library only once a week in order to take out new books and return the old ones. Her own small bedroom now became her reading-room and there she would sit and read most afternoons, often with a mug of hot chocolate beside her…
It was pleasant to take a hot drink up to her room and have it beside her as she sat in her silent room reading in the empty house in the afternoons. The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. She went to Africa with Ernest Hemingway and to India with Rudyard Kipling. She traveled all over the world while sitting in her little room in an English village.”
-excerpt from Matilda by Roald Dahl

Do you like to read? I used to read under the covers with a flashlight when I was little and always carried a book in my bag. Then, in high school, I got tired of being told what to read, as I suppose happens to a lot of people, and gave up the practice almost entirely. Then, last summer, a switch was flipped again and suddenly I love opening the pages of a book and experiencing a world completely separate from mine. Personally, I prefer reading children’s literature or biographies. But regardless of what one likes to read, the essentials are always the same, right?

Anthropologie Tote / Matilda / Travel Mug

What do you like to read? Looking for something new? Here are a few blogs & lists I’ve found recently that are adding titles to my ToRead List:

NPR Books’ 2013 Critics’ Lists

200 Books Recommended by TEDsters

Goodreads: 2013 Summer Reading List

What are you reading right now?

Focus

Yesterday a friend of mine sent me this video. Watch it start to finish. It’ll blow your mind a little bit!

Lately, Husband and I have been having a lot of conversations about living in the moment–about monotasking and focus. We both have jobs where we spend the majority of our day in front of screens and often we find ourselves checking our twitter feeds regardless of our surroundings or company. There are so many devices trying to talk to us at any given point that it’s often hard to focus on the task at hand. Confucius quote So when I watched this performance, two things struck me. First of all, the intense concentration that Miyoko Shida has on what she is doing. How often do you perform one task, quietly (a state that is really hard for me in general) giving your complete attention to what you’re doing? Since Husband and I started talking about monotasking, I’ve found an everyday chore like washing the dishes can become something like a meditative exercise when done in silence–no dings coming from my phone and no Big Bang Theory blaring from the TV in the other room. It really clears my mind. Anne Morrow Lindbergh The other thing I’ve found is that it is easier to be creative when my mind is free of distractions. We all go through times of creative block, regardless of whether you have a creative job like I do or not. But, I’ve found that when my mind is free of the noise from Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter, it’s easier to come up with brand new ideas and work through creative problems. This brings me to the second thing I found so fascinating about Miyoko Shida’s performance: her willingness to create something impermanent. Often times, I think we hang on to routines and processes regardless of whether or not they work. Getting out of the box and having a willingness to change or even destroy the tangible things or the ideas I’ve created in the past has given me a new sense of freedom in my work and in our home. Steve Jobs quote Be quiet. Remove distractions. Focus on the task at hand.

Hello, Gorgeous!

If you’re a new reader, “Hello, Gorgeous!” posts are a round-up of beautiful, random links that are making me smile this week. Enjoy!

Happy Monday! Have you missed me? I’ve missed you! For today’s Hello, Gorgeous! post, how about we play a little catch-up?

After last week’s Alton Browncast, Husband has been experimenting with cucumbers, and they may be a new favorite thing about summer. Have you ever had cucumber water? It’s delightfully refreshing! It will make you feel like you’re at the spa without ever having to leave the couch.

In other news, I’m pretty sure this girl is my spirit animal.

hannahb-my-spirit-animal

I’ve been reading a lot of Roald Dahl lately–especially out in the sunshine.

roald-dahl

Confession: After never watching an episode, we’ve become completely obsessed with Parks and Rec. Over the course of a week, we’ve already binge-watched our way to season 4. I’m not even a little ashamed.

Parks and Rec's Ron Swanson paper doll

My favorite character is Ron, and the fact that Nick Offerman is a woodworker in real life completely made my weekend. You should definitely check out the goods on OffermanWoodshop.com Also, I’m completely in love with the site design but that is neither here nor there.

Other than that, this summer has been a whirlwind of new friendships, impromptu gatherings, weddings, and babies. Since Hello, Gorgeous! posts are always the most random of collections, allow me to end with a more serious link. NPR’s Scott Simon is by his mother’s side in her dying moments and, ever the journalist, is documenting the experience via Twitter. His posts are precious, and also bring back some hard memories, but what a beautiful way to honor her life…