While Spring styles are debuting in NYC for Fashion Week, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

Oscar de la Renta | Fall, 2013

In case it isn’t obvious, I often wonder what designers are thinking when they put together their collections. The stories and inspiration fascinate me to no end. So when looking through Oscar de la Renta’s Fall collection, I couldn’t help but do the same. I pictured a beautiful woman traveling around the world, there were bright colors and playful hats–and then the evening gowns hit.

Pageant Queen Needs a Happy Pill OR Oscar de la Renta | Fall, 2013

I am not kidding; my reaction was visceral. I hated these gowns. But why? The cuts weren’t outrageous, the billows mimicked the rest of the collection… and then it hit me: the makeup, the big shoulders, This was Suzanne Sugarbaker gone mad!

It was if our favorite Southern beauty queen had dropped her basket, gotten on pills, dropped 75 pounds, and decided to walk down Oscar de la Renta’s runway.

Then, I found out John Galliano was backstage. That’s ok Oscar, he’d make me crazy too.

Muffin’s Favorite Fall Collection

While Spring styles are debuting in NYC for Fashion Week, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

a young Muffin

When Muffin was little, her parents worried about how much time she spent in the backyard. After spending mornings at St. Joseph’s, she’d come home, grab a book, and run outside where she’d spend the remainder of the afternoon reading and rescuing the occasional cat who’d found its way up a tree. At night, she’d play with the globe in her father’s study and dream of all the exotic places she’d visit and people she’d meet when at last she could bust out of the walls surrounding the family’s estate.

At 18, she lost an argument with her parents over joining the peace core and eventually ended up at Harvard where she studied Ancient Civilizations. When it was finally possible to take a year abroad, she took it very seriously and this is obviously what happened upon her return…

This Fall you may spot Muffin reading in coffee shops around Cambridge and showing off her new threads to friends.

“This cape is modeled after one given to the great chieftess Gitchi-gooni on her declaration day.”

“What–this old thing? Why my theatre teacher, the great stage actress Mae Farecenot, gave it to me just before she departed for the nudist colony.”

“While in Norway, I learned to knit my own caps from the grandmothers in the village who gathered around the fireplace of a local shop and told me tales from Norse mythology.”

Don’t get me wrong, I want every piece of Electric Feathers’ Fall collection. Every single piece.

Why This Belle Covets Veronica Beard

While Spring styles are debuting in NYC for Fashion Week, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

Fact: When I laid my big brown eyes on Veronica Beard‘s Fall collection, my little Southern heart went aflutter. There are several things a Southern woman looks for when choosing her Fall wardrobe aside from the obvious fashion-foward considerations…

1.) We like cuts that give a little tip of the hat (or coonskin cap as the case may be) to the past.

2.) We love having at least one element that makes us feel ultra feminine–whether it’s a touch of pink or a silk skirt.

3.) There must be sass. Every Southern girl has an attitude, and we’re proud of it. We’re strong, we’re opinionated, and we’re self-reliant. The most important accessory a belle wears is that glint in her eye that tells the world not to mess with her.

So, with that in mind, it should be easy to guess why I’ve been swooning over Veronica Beard‘s Fall collection since it’s debut. These girls may be in Manhattan, but they have enough soul for a gal from Tennessee.

Veronica Beard | Fall, 2013

A girl that wears Veronica Beard know how to shoot a gun.

She loves her daddy.

Her childhood crush was Davy Crockett himself.

I heart Davy Crockett.

She can forage for her own food, and knows how to season an iron skillet.

She may even possess the ability to talk to animals.

The phrase “…wild as a mink but sweet as a soda pop”? That was written for her.

Girl Goes Glamping

While Spring styles are debuting in NYC for Fashion Week, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

You’ve finally found him–your very own Prince Charming. He’s perfect. Ruggedly handsome with a good sense of humor, fashionable, well-read, and manly. Oh honey, is he manly!

But what’s this? He wants to take you camping? As if!

No need to worry, my dear, this season Charlotte Ronson has you covered. You too can look chic and outdoorsy…

…for the two hours you last before checking into the nearest 4-star hotel.

Seriously, what were you thinking?! Don’t be ashamed–lots of girls are hypnotized by manly charms. Rugged sounds sexy until you realize that you are about to sleep both out of doors and on the ground.

That’s why God made concierges and Hilton Honors points. Have them send up a masseuse and a bottle of Veuve. You’ve earned it!

Lisa Frank Fans Grow Up to Buy Kate Spade

While Spring styles are debuting in NYC for Fashion Week, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

Lisa Frank Unicorns

The first day of school, 1991. Armed with Lisa Frank erasers, Lisa Frank pencils, and Lisa Frank folders, she snaps shut her Lisa Frank trapper keeper and thinks about how rad this school year is going to be.

Admit it, you had the ballerina stickers and you wrote love notes to all your besties on your rainbow reef stationery. My bet is the designers of Kate Spade‘s Fall collection did too.

Bright colors, fast food, and an adorable little mascot? Lisa would be so proud, don’t you think? This is totally how 6 year old me envisioned my grown-up self: hailing a taxi cab in a brightly colored ensemble with hot pink stilettos and big hair.

Kate Spade (obviously) Loved Lisa Kate (obviously) Loved Lisa

And just in case your big hair and bold sweaters aren’t enough for you, Kate Spade has some goodies for your desk too!

KSNY + Darcel Iron-On Patches, Notebooks, Stickers

L’Wren Scott Hair and an Open Letter to Oprah

While Spring styles are debuting in NYC for Fashion Week, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

L'Wren Scott Hair | an open letter to Oprah

Oprah donning some *gorgeous* hair on the cover of September’s O Magazine.

L’Wren Scott | Fall, 2013

Dear Oprah,

White girls LOVE you.

So much, in fact, that we will literally fry & dye our own hair to be more like you. Yes, I know. You’d have thought the 1980s taught us something, but no. You’re like that cool girl in high school that we can’t get up the courage to talk to. But Oprah, we still want to be your BFF.

In the 80’s my mama called this “Big LA Bar Hair.” Today, I’m calling it “Afro de Oprah.” But white girls take heed: perm & tease too much and there will be nothing left to style come Spring.

Sincerely,

Hannah B.
xoxo*

Fall Fashion: The Villains of Valentino

While Spring styles are debuting in NYC, let’s take a look at your Fall wardrobe.

Villainous Valentino | Wednesday Addams

Have you ever seen yourself as the Wednesday Addams in a sea of orange-clad blondes? Then, Valentino’s Fall collection is for you! I have to admit, I wasn’t allowed to watch The Addams Family when I was a kid–a little dark for my mother’s tastes. But the moment I saw her headless Marie Antoinette doll, I more than made up for lost time.

The Villains of Valentino | Wednesday Addams

So you can imagine my joy when I saw Valentino’s Fall collection. Who’d have thought that after 27 years of repressed melancholy, I’d finally get the chance to dress up as Wednesday Addams?

The Villains of Valentino | Wednesday Addams

But Valentino didn’t stop there.

Do you sometimes find yourself longing to pull a Glenn Close circa 1996? Do you often have a desire to match your spotted pooch’s ensemble? Valentino has you covered.

valentino-cruella

And lest we forget that for every yin there is a yang, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Valentino’s nod to the White Witch.

valentino-whitewitch

So there you have it. If you’re looking for a way to show a little more of your dark side without going full on goth, fill your closet this season with Valentino and accessorize with your own Marie Antoinette.